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Humortråden

Jonulf

Audemars
2-Faktor
image.jpg
 

JesperO

Rolex
The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, the British government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phased plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish (Euro for short).

In the first year, "s" will be used
instead of the soft "c".
Sertainly, sivil servants will resieve this news with joy. Also,
the hard "c" will be replaced with "k". Not only will this klear up
konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in
the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced by "f". This will make words
like "fotograf" 20 per sent
shorter.

In the third year, publik akseptanse
of the new spelling kan be
expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes
are possible. Governments
will enkorage the removal of double letters,
which have always ben a deterent to akurate
speling. Also, al wil
agre that the horible mes of silent "e"s in the languag is
disgrasful, and they would go.

By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv
to steps such as replasing
"th" by z" and "w" by " v".
During ze fifz year, ze unesesary
"o" kan be dropd from vords
kontaining "ou", and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to
ozer kombinations of leters.

After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli
sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be
no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
understand ech ozer.

Ze drem vil finali kum tru.
 

Jonulf

Audemars
2-Faktor
A very successful lawyer parked his brand-new Lexus in front of his office, ready to show it off to his colleagues. As he got out, a truck passed too close and completely tore the door off of the driver's side. The counselor immediately grabbed his cell phone, dialed 911, and within minutes a policeman pulled up.

Before the officer had a chance to ask any questions, the lawyer started screaming hysterically. His Lexus, which he had just picked up the day before, was now completely ruined and would never be the same, no matter what the body shop did to it.

When the lawyer finally wound down from his ranting and raving, the officer shook his head in disgust and disbelief.

"I can't believe how materialistic you lawyers are," he said. "You are so focused on your possessions that you don't notice anything else."

"How can you say such a thing?" asked the lawyer.

The cop replied, "Don't you know that your left arm is missing from the elbow down? It must have been torn off when the truck hit you."

"Ahhh!" screamed the lawyer. "Where's my Rolex!"
 
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